For some parents-to-be, discovering simply the suitable baby name is usually a problem. For others it’s simple: sure names simply come to them as if by divine inspiration. The primary time my husband urged what finally turned our daughter’s name, I knew that was the one. Redditor u/PollutionWild4637 (we’ll name her Wild) had the same expertise when she discovered she was anticipating however, as with loads of parenting-related points, issues bought difficult when different individuals provided their opinions…
Wild and her husband are thrilled to expect. For months they already knew what they wished to call their baby if it’s a lady: Olivia, however Lia for brief.
So when she discovered herself on a enterprise journey within the nation the place her father and stepmother dwell, she was excited to share the excellent news.
“They had been each very blissful to listen to our information and the previous few days we’ve been chatting about all kinds of plans for the longer term when child arrives,” she wrote. “The final evening of my journey, my stepmom shared that just a few months in the past she had heard me and my husband discussing child names … [and] advised me that as Lia is her middle name, she wouldn’t be snug with the newborn having ‘her’ identify and subsequently requested we don’t use it.”
“I used to be shocked by this request and requested her to elucidate a little bit bit extra, and she or he simply repeated that this identify belonged to her, her household used it, it was a particular identify, and that she wouldn’t be capable to name our child by that identify if we selected it,” Wild recalled.
Evidently, though Wild and her husband don’t know their child’s gender but, she is “devastated” by this drama. She factors out that her stepmother has been along with her father 10 years — after Wild graduated highschool — and that neither she nor her father check with her as “Lia.”
“It truthfully solely occurred to me weeks after we had settled on the identify that it was additionally my stepmom’s center identify, and I believed it nothing greater than a coincidence,” she says.
Wild says she is inclined to say no her stepmother’s request. However, “Lia” feels a little bit tainted.
“I really feel like the selection of identify is ruined now for us both approach,” she laments. “If we don’t use it to please her, I’ll really feel resentful for making the concession and if we do use it, I’ll really feel like my stepmom will take it personally.”
And so she places it to her fellow redditors: “AITA if I inform her that whereas I recognize her being trustworthy with me, I can’t promise that we received’t go forward and use the identify we’ve had picked out for some time?”
So far as I’m involved, this can be a palms down “NTA” (Not The Assh*le) however reactions within the feedback had been fairly blended.
“Nobody owns a reputation,” says one, in what can be a standard chorus. “NTA.”
“NAH” (No Assh*les Right here) reads a extra measured response. “No one owns a reputation. And it’s definitely your proper to call your little one what you want. However with upwards of 100,000 names to select from, you appear to be set on one which … might probably trigger an excessive amount of unhealthy emotions. Are you so wed to the identify that you’re prepared to take care of the battle?”
Some had been adamant of their stance of “YTA” (You’re The Assh*le.)
“So let me get this proper. Your step-mom is named ‘Lia’ by all of her closest members of the family and also you, with out discussing this along with her, have determined to call your daughter Lia,” one commenter presents. “Now you might be ‘devastated’ that she ‘requested’ — your phrase, not mine — you not use it. IT’S THE NAME HER WHOLE FAMILY CALLS HER AND YOU FIND IT STRANGE THAT SHE ASKED YOU NOT TO USE IT????? And you’ve got identified her for 10 years????”
Others had been merely baffled that Wild would identify her little one one factor however use a nickname. Extra nonetheless couldn’t recover from the concept “Lia” can be a nickname for “Olivia.”
Others urged that Wild’s dad and stepmom might simply be amongst these to name the baby “Olivia” to keep away from laborious emotions or confusion.
Personally: Staff NTA over right here. A few of my family and friends name me “James” however I’m not going to cease any of them from choosing that identify for his or her children. Some individuals may see it as a battle: I feel it’s an excellent alternative for connection.
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