Earlier than turning into a mum or dad, I used to be overwhelmed by the thought. As I noticed it rising up, motherhood demanded sacrifices I wasn’t prepared to make: dropping time, setting apart ambition and even your sense of self to change into “mother.” As an alternative, I focused on my career, spending seven years constructing my enterprise. Spending nights engaged on my monetary training platform and early mornings recording my podcast felt much more fulfilling than considering motherhood.
However in 2023, after transferring to the Netherlands from the USA to proceed my profession development, the stunning but welcome information of my first being pregnant got here. Dwelling in a rustic persistently ranked as one of the best for families performed a pivotal position in shifting my perspective on motherhood, remodeling it right into a significantly better, anxiety-free new part of womanhood.
Being pregnant felt utterly totally different from what I had imagined or seen in films and amongst mates. I pictured a scientific, tense surroundings and ready to be handled like somebody on the verge of fragility. As an alternative, after I walked into my first midwife appointment, I used to be welcomed into this new part of life by mothers with bellies a lot bigger — suppose 30 weeks alongside — than mine, casually biking to their appointments.
From that very second, I knew this expertise could be totally different.
Motherhood, beginning with being pregnant, is handled as a pure part of life within the Netherlands. It’s not one thing requiring fixed tiptoeing or infinite restrictions except you might be medically required. Medical doctors, midwives, and even strangers encourage you to belief your physique and adapt as wanted. This strategy instantly eased my fears of dropping myself or my entrepreneurial ambition to motherhood.
After giving start, I encountered one more shock: postnatal care, not like something I’d imagined. Within the Netherlands, new mother and father are supported by a maternity nurse who visits their residence every day for the primary week after start, and essentially the most primary medical insurance covers all of this. As an expat mother removed from household, this was a lifeline. The nurse helped me feed, bathe, and perceive my child’s wants. She guided me by means of these “What is that this?!” moments of postpartum uncertainty.
She additionally dealt with family chores like cooking and laundry, giving us the area to sleep, heal, and bond with my child.
The monetary help for households within the Netherlands was one other important shift for me. Rising up, I usually heard moms lament, “It’s too costly to have a toddler.” That monetary pressure was one of many greatest ache factors for my mother and father in Colombia, the place I grew up. Whereas the monetary side wasn’t a deep fear for me, understanding the extent of the help out there within the Netherlands gave me peace of thoughts.
Parental leave policy gave us the time to seek out our rhythm as new mother and father. Moms are entitled to 16 weeks of paid maternity depart, which begins as much as six weeks earlier than their due date and extends 10 weeks postpartum. Past that, each mother and father can share an extra 26 weeks of parental depart, with 9 weeks paid at 70% of their earnings till the kid turns eight.
The federal government additionally gives mother and father a quarterly allowance of up to €282 (round $293 in USD) for newborns, and tax credit considerably scale back childcare prices. These measures, mixed with a system designed to help households, eased my anxieties and allowed me to deal with the thrill of parenting.
However what really units the Netherlands aside and allowed me to embrace motherhood absolutely was its cultural angle towards steadiness as a girl. Right here, you’re inspired to stay your self: an individual with objectives, passions, and ambitions, even after turning into a mum or dad. I’ve found that I can proceed constructing my enterprise — even attending coworking areas or networking occasions which can be absolutely child-proof — whereas dreaming of latest ventures, mountaineering, touring the world, and rising in methods I as soon as thought have been incompatible with parenting.
Dwelling in a rustic that prioritizes well-being and family-friendly insurance policies has proven me that motherhood doesn’t should be about sacrifice.
Alejandra Rojas is an entrepreneur, author, and founding father of Brown Way to Money, a monetary mentoring platform that helps ladies overcome monetary trauma and enhance their relationship with cash. She additionally hosts the Brown Way to Money Podcast.
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